Tuesday, April 21, 2015

speculating is fun

My anatomy ultrasound is scheduled for May 7, which means that afternoon C and I will find out if Baby B is a boy or a girl!
In anticipation, I scoured the internet looking for all those hilarious old wives' tales about gender prediction. Some of them I've never even heard before, and I think, "Who comes up with this crap?!" Anyway, here's how Baby B shakes out--

Sleep position: left side = boy/ right side = girl ----- ugh, is neither an option?! Side sleeping has thus far been the bane of my existence. If I had to pick though, I'd go with right side. GIRL

Morning sickness: little = boy/ lots = girl ----- obviously, I had all the sick. In fact, this baby still seems to be fundamentally opposed to clean teeth. GIRL

Hands: dry = boy/ soft = girl ----- I find my hands to be... regular? I don't know?! I don't ever use lotion, so soft, I guess? GIRL

Cravings: salty = boy/ sweet = girl ----- I've always been a salty person, and this pregnancy is no exception. BOY

Steal your beauty: no = boy/ yes = girl ----- I'm not sure how one finds this out. Does someone come up to you and say "Oh, you must be having a girl because you look like a tired old hag?" Because that's a recipe for getting bitch-slapped by this momma. No one has told me that I look uglier than usual, so that must mean the boy column gets a win here. BOY

Gracefulness: no = boy/ yes = girl ----- I haven't noticed myself being overly clumsy, so...? GIRL

Fat face: no = boy/ yes = girl ----- Again, you tell me my face is getting fat, your face is about to get fatter from the punch I'mma hit it with. That said, I don't think I look a whole lot different. BOY

Mood swings: no = boy/ yes = girl ----- My fuse is definitely a bit (ok, a lot) shorter, but my moods aren't really swinging. BOY

Baby bump: low = boy/ high = girl ----- I find this the most humorous of all of them, considering that the baby is at the bottom, no matter what gender it is. If you have a lot of stuff up top, those are your innards, not so much the baby. Whatever. :) I guess I would have to say low, since my high-waisted pre-pregnancy pants still fit but the low-rise ones don't. BOY

Baby weight: front = boy/ all around = girl ----- Umm, I carried my weight all around before I ever got pregnant. Oh look, that means I'M a girl! Wait, is that not how that works? GIRL

Wedding ring swing: line = boy/ circle = girl ----- The funny thing is that some of them say to put it over your palm, and others say to put it over your belly. The ring makes a line over my palm and a circle over my belly. Most of the websites say to put it over your belly, so I think the girls have it. GIRL

Numerology: even + odd = boy/ same = girl ----- This is a new one for me. If your age and year of conception are both even or odd, it's girl. One even, one odd means a boy. Well, I'm 29 and this baby was conceived in 2015, so apparently it's a girl. GIRL

Heartbeat: <150bpm = boy/ >150bpm = girl ----- at my last appointment, Baby B's heartbeat was right about 150 (once he or she stopped hiding from the Doppler. little shit.) At the appointment before, it was 162. At the first appointment, it was 183. Sounds like perhaps this one is full of shit? Oh wait, they're ALL full of shit! Ha! If we keep going with this trend, the baby's heartbeat is likely below 150 at this point. BOY

And I've saved the best for last-----

Chinese Gender Chart: based on my age at conception (29) and the month of conception (January), it's a GIRL

For those of you keeping score at home, that's 8 in the GIRL column and 6 in the BOY column. I've felt all along that this baby is a boy, although strangely enough as soon as I started feeling him/her moving, I have the overwhelming urge to refer to it as "her" and "she." C has always been convinced that it's a girl. We'll see in a couple of weeks! :) Feel free to leave your predictions in the comments-- other people's reasoning always makes me smile.

1 comment:

  1. hahahaha no one has told me i'm uglier than usual! i cannot wait to find out, hurry up may 7!!!!