Thursday, July 25, 2013

four years

In another life, today would be my wedding anniversary. You see, I was supposed to get married on July 25, 4 years ago. I normally don't commemorate this day, or even remember it, but I've been thinking a lot about my dress lately.

I've gotten hooked on Say Yes to the Dress within the past week (thank you Netflix), and it has made me... wistful. I remember what it's like to go into a bridal salon full of hopes and dreams and grand plans for looking like a princess. I had a dress almost bought. I had a photographer and a venue and lots of other things. Then five years ago on July 28th, he left me. And that was that.

I still remember what it felt like to wear that dress. There was something magical about it. I've been trying to find that dress online over the past week or so (seriously SYTTD, get out of my head). I felt so certain that I'd just remember it and know, but I've found that's just not the case. Just as time heals all wounds, time forgets. I don't usually remember that this day was supposed to be my anniversary. I don't remember a lot of things about the wedding that I planned all those years ago. And despite the fact that I remember exactly how it felt to wear that dress, I don't exactly remember that dress.

The dress I DO remember, is this dress. It's not as extravagant, but it's still beautiful, just like the day that ended up being my one and only wedding day.

Although having an engagement called off is a horrible experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone, I also don't wish it had never happened to me. It taught me how strong I am, and it also taught me not to let the intertia of a relationship sweep me away like a rip current. It taught me that no matter how heartbroken or upset I may be, life will go on. Sometimes the best I can do is get up in the morning and put one foot in front of the other, and that's ok, but life will go on. Life will do more than go on, life will get better. Life will become more than I ever thought it could be.

And so on this day I celebrate the one that got away. Happy day to me. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment