video killed the radio star

I used to love reading. Love it! I would spend hours sitting on the couch or in a chair reading one book after another. Not anymore. Why not, you ask?

Because of this:

My parents bought me an iPad as a gift for law school graduation. Like everyone else, I wanted one when the first iPad came out. A computer you can hold in your hand?! HOW COOL!! At the time I had an iPod Touch and could not fathom what I would use an iPad for that would make it worth $600. (Clearly I had no problem asking for it as a gift.)

Once I got it though, I was hooked. I was like a 2-year-old with her first taste of TV. NEED. SCREEN. It's almost 2 years later, and I'm still hooked on it. The thing is like heroin with less insidious side effects. I feel the need to be on it all the time. I can't just watch TV anymore (in and of itself not the best habit). I have to be watching TV and on the iPad. This is a problem.

Every once in awhile I contemplate going on hiatus from the screen. I'm not sure that I'm quite ready to do that, but it may be for the best. Perhaps I'll have C do it too (his screen time is also a bit out of control). Even if it's just a week, it would be good for me. Lessen the hold that the siren song has over me.

Self-awareness like this makes me ponder what I'm going to be like as a parent. I think to myself, "If this device has this effect on me as a grownup, what sort of power does it have over a developing brain? Is this something I want my children to be exposed to?" Of course thoughts like this are all fun and games until you actually have a child and JUST WANT THEM TO SHUT UP FOR ONE FREAKING MINUTE SO YOU CAN TAKE A POOP! So the fact remains that I will likely use the magic screen to placate my future children at some point. I'm weak.

I can't even imagine what trouble I'd be in if I had a smartphone...