Wednesday, April 2, 2014


"No one in government takes responsibility for anything any more. We foster, we obfuscate, we rationalize... So we come to occupy a moral safe house where everyone's to blame so no one's guilty."
- President Bartlet, "The West Wing" (H. Con - 172)
It's been a rough week or so at my house. C and I have had some soul-searching conversations, both with ourselves and with each other. The gist of it is that, although we both feel really strongly about adopting some kids out of foster care, it may not be the right decision at this point in our lives. It's been a hard realization to come to, and we're still not definitely sure that we're changing course, but we're both definitely in a different headspace than we were at this time last week.

Since our orientation, we've talked to a lot of people at DCS. We had questions, relatively straightforward questions, that we wanted answered. When the person we were assigned to wouldn't answer them (and was rude), we went to someone else, who went to someone else, who went to someone else, until finally, yesterday, we spoke to the supervisor of the adoption program. Defying understanding, she was able to be both terribly nice while simultaneously blaming us for the problems we've had and telling us that they deliberately (DELIBERATELY!) make this process difficult.

Since the person we've been assigned to work with hates us (seriously, I'm not just being paranoid), we're kindof concerned about the home study. We're also concerned about how long this purposely obstructionist process will take and the effect that will have on the timeline for having kids period. It's beginning to look like it could take upwards of a year and a half to get a kid/kids placed with us, and we'd need to make sure the kids were settled before adding anyone else to the family, so suddenly we're looking at a few years before a baby. We're just not sure we're willing to wait that long.

Anyway, we're still thinking on it. We're also going to continue to take the training classes, which we think will be beneficial whether we adopt now, later, or not at all. More to come, but I wanted to offer an explanation for the brief hiatus I took from blogging there for a few days. Sometimes introspection is best done quietly.


  1. Totally and completely understandable. It is ALL difficult especially when these are life changing decisions. The best advice I have is to trust your gut- It wont steer you wrong! Good luck friend and you know I am here if you need to talk it out.

  2. I can't even imagine how mentally taxing it must be going through all of this! You are a trooper.